Monday, January 2, 2017

From Seuss to Seuss

Hello friends and fans,

I have periodically come back, written a new post about my life, told you all I'm back for good, only to revert them all to drafts a few weeks or months later.

I guess the truth is, whilst everyone else was complaining that 2016 was the worst year ever due to all the celebrity deaths and political happenings, 2016 was actually the worst year of my life, ever.

And I've had a pretty hard life overall, to be honest.

But, in the words of Buddy, the "King" of Real Estate, "in order to be successful, one must project an image of success at all times", so I don't really like spilling my guts anymore. I suppose a little bit of bile here and there is okay.

A couple of years ago, I was diagnosed with yet another illness, only this one causes weight gain and makes it very, very hard to lose weight. As my abdomen swelled, my clothes became tighter and tighter, and all of my beautiful clothes you see on the pages of this blog became reminders of how fantastically shit my existence has been. In a fit of tears, confusion, and desperation, I chucked all of my handmade dresses into garbage bags, and dropped them off at a charity shop.

I felt really alone. My body expanded two dress sizes in three months, and I didn't really have the money to just go buy a new wardrobe. Even if I did, there was nothing to buy in my size in stores that I liked. Considering I'm still in the range of "average weight", I cannot even begin to imagine the kind of discouragement this must cause for people much bigger than me. I didn't have the time or money to be making dresses, and even if I did, all of my existing pattern collection wouldn't have fit me.

This was two years ago. I've managed to lose a little bit of weight, so now I'm only one size bigger than I was. I'm able to use my patterns so long as I make the seams really tiny, but so far it's working in my favour. I moved to Japan in March of last year, but after becoming personally disgraced, I moved back home and sewed my first garment in almost a year a few weeks ago. I don't have proper pictures of those skirts, but I do have some crappy iPhone selfies on my Instagram.

Seeing as the Christmas dresses I'd made a while ago were a hit, I decided to make another one for this Christmas just passed. I used a Dr Seuss 'Grinch' fabric I had in the garage.

I hope you all had a wonderful "Grinchmas".

It's going to take me a while to get back on my feet. It's been seven months since the incident that would change my life forever, and I still have a form of pneumonia from it. I go through periods of strength and resilience, followed by a couple weeks of brokenness here and there. I've been allowed by my psychiatrist and psychologist to take a break from life, which I've been very grateful for, but I can't afford to laze around and stagnate. I'm hoping to return to university this year, work hard on my little 3 year old clothing brand, and work even harder on my comics and illustration work.

I'll also hopefully have some better pictures for this blog.